Wednesday, 25 March 2009

Protesters Find Practical Use For Google Street View

Google's controversial Street View application has finally found a purpose, after some inspired individuals tracked down Sir Fred Goodwin's villa in the exclusive Morningside area of Edinburgh and heaved a few bricks through the windows.

At first, police thought the attack was merely a lucky random choice by a lone vandal. However, an email sent to the press suggested that the incident may be the work of an organised group protesting against bank executives.

It also emerged that, in addition to rewarding Sir Fred with a £650,000 annual pension for bringing ruin to its doors and granting him a £3m advance, the Royal Bank of Scotland is also generously providing him with security. The actual level of security involved has not been made public - but the attack has shown that, whatever it is, at least it isn't up to much.

In addition to breaking a couple of windows in the house, the attackers also damaged the windows of a Mercedes 600 parked in the driveway. It is not thought that Sir Fred or his family have lived at the house since the row over his pension erupted - suggesting that he is probably enjoying life in an even more insultingly expensive house, and swanning about in an even more obscenely-ostentatious car.

A spokesman for Edinburgh's police said: "The force takes very seriously any planned attack on any individual or their property, even a horrible shit like Goodwin. We have now posted a police car outside his house, and our sharp-eyed officers will intercept anyone seen approaching the house with a balaclava and a hod to tell them not to waste their time damaging an empty property. We will then proceed to take down their details, and promise faithfully to text them the moment the greedy little turd comes slinking back."

"We've got a spare can of petrol in the boot, too, if they want it," he added.

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