Wednesday 20 August 2008

It's Enough To Make Your Heart Go Sad

Glaswegians are celebrating in their usual fashion after it was announced that their home has been named a United Nations City of Music. The honour is bestowed by the UN’s cultural body, Unesco.

“We embrace the award on behalf of our talented musicians and composers, whose names temporarily escape me,” said Lord Provost Bob Winter. “I am confident this can only boost our musical ambitions and encourage and nurture future musical talent. Travis have already set the benchmark, as I believe they were briefly famous as far afield as Stirling and Dundee.”

Glasgow’s marketing officials let go of their bottles of Buckfast Wine for long enough to put together the winning 50-page bid in June. The document listed 127 musical events a week - including light-hearted community taunting at football matches, dozens of pubs with jukeboxes or karaoke nights, several homeless buskers and Wee Billy Bampot warbling The Celtic Song while having a widdle on his way home from the Thistle every Saturday night.

The prestigious title was officially presented by Unesco director-general Koichiro Matsuuro in a ceremony in Glasgow. Mr Matsuuro was then ceremonially presented with his teeth after an unscheduled display of Glaswegian martial arts by Mad Jimmy McTavish of that ilk.

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