Monday, 18 August 2008

'We're Not Sexist,' Australia's New Men Tell Gorgeous, Pouting Sheilas

The mayor of the remote Australian mining community of Mount Isa has come under fire for urging ugly women to move to the town, where men outnumber women five to one.

Councillor Gary Asmus said that Mayor John Moloney’s words were an insult to the men of Mount Isa, and that he was “returning us to the Dark Ages and making the guys that live in this town seem like sex-hungry starved men that will pounce upon the first girl that they see walking down the street. Of course, everyone knows that Australians - and outback miners in particular - are world-renowned for their enlightened, modern attitude to equality and respect.”

He was then barged aside by the town’s army of single men.

“Strewth, I’m so desperate I’d marry anything that didn’t have hair down its back,” pleaded Andy Larrikin, who drives the mine’s aircraft carrier-sized truck. “Even the mayor is beginning to look strangely attractive. God help me.”

“I saw a woman once,” reminisced retired drill operator Ned Drongo. “She was a funny shape, all covered in bumps. But like most Mount Isans I eventually found domestic harmony with my pet wombat, Sally.”

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