Tuesday 24 June 2008

Going Dutch - With Morgan Tsvangirai

Following the decision by Morgan Tsvangirai to pull out of the Zimbabwean presidential election run-off, the UN Security Council has unanimously condemned the violence and intimidation against the Movememnt for Democratic Change and declared that a free and fair vote would be “impossible”.

President Robert Mugabe, however, disagreed. “Just watch,” he said. “We’ll have our election on Friday, and everybody will be free to vote for me. What could be fairer than that?”

Mr Mugabe’s government also gave assurances about the safety of Mr Tsvangirai, who has fled to the Dutch embassy claiming asylum.

“Morgan Tsvangirai will be allowed safe passage out of Zimbabwe, if he is in a diplomatic bag,” announced the president. “In fact, as he’s quite a large fellow, I reckon two bags would be the best plan. If he wants to go Dutch, I’d be happy to see him split 50/50.”

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