Monday 5 May 2008

Arse, Sir Kylie

Australian pop singer Kylie Minogue has been honoured by the French Government for her “contribution to the enrichment of French culture”.

After hearing she had been made a Knight in the Order of Arts and Letters, the diminutive 39-year-old diva said: “Bonzer! I am deeply honoured to be recognised in this way? French culture has influenced me greatly yeah? and I have always had colossal respect for the arts and people of France?

"Every time I prance about on stage singing ‘I just can't get you out of my head, Boy your loving is all I think about, I just can't get you out of my head, Boy it's more than I dare to think about’, in my mind I really am the tragic poster-girl of proto-realism Emma Bovary?

"Even at the start of my pop career, I was inspired by the legendary sheila philosopher and feminist Simone de Beauvoir? whenever I belted out those timeless words ‘I should be so lucky, Lucky lucky lucky, I should be so lucky in love’?”

“I’ll place this award in my trophy cabinet, yeah?” she added, “Right next to my prestigious FHM Rear of the Year 2007 award?”

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