Tuesday 6 May 2008

My Mind Is Going, I Can Feel It

Researchers at the Boston University School of Medicine say that taking regular doses of the painkiller Ibuprofen can reduce the risk of developing Alzheimer’s Disease - although it appears they forgot that the University of California in San Diego made the discovery nearly seven years ago.

The rediscovery comes on the same day as an announcement by researchers in Maryland that women with long legs are less likely to develop the illness. Previously-published research has indicated that old people who exercise regularly are less prone to Alzheimer’s, while those with high IQs or large waists increase their risk.

All in all, it seems that the best way to avoid the curse of Alzheimer’s Disease is to be a stupid skinny woman who jogs every day on her stalky legs until she gives herself a headache.

Meanwhile, researchers in Britain are said to have found that Alzheimer’s is extremely rare in emos, Scientologists, people born on a Tuesday, anyone whose name begins with a vowel (with the exception of the letter U) and babies.

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