Burmese Days

As a major appeal is launched to raise funds for disaster relief in Burma, aid agencies fear the death toll from Cyclone Nargis could reach 100,000, as a million homeless survivors fight – sometimes literally - to find food, water and shelter.

International aid has been held up, however, by the Burmese military dictatorship, with aircraft carrying relief supplies being refused landing clearance and growing queues of volunteers waiting for visas.

Burma’s Prime Minister, Lieutenant Thein Sein, took time out from a rare photo-opportunity to explain the reason for the delays.

“We’re very sorry,” he said, “But until these pilots, relief workers and journalists stop talking about Burma and start using our preferred title of Myanmar Republic, our officials will continue to turn them away saying, ‘Burma? Sorry, no such place.’ On top of that, until the planes are painted in our air force colours and the volunteers are taught our language, we can’t let them in. Otherwise, our people might get the impression that we in the military government are less than the benevolent, all-powerful friends they have come to know and love.”

Meanwhile, back in Britain, those who object to more of their tax going overseas pointed to a disaster closer to home, as 400 metres of Dorset’s World Heritage Jurassic Coast slid into the sea.

“These poor dinosaurs have been cruelly exposed to the fury of the elements,” said a bigot this morning. “Meanwhile, the authorities are refusing to let fossil hunters into the area to do their work. I say charity begins at home.”