Cameron Refuses To Confirm Or Deny That Satan Feasted On His Soul

No evidence whatsoever of dodgy dining

David Cameron today refused to disclose whether Satan, the unholy Prince of Darkness, dropped by for dinner at 10 Downing Street to gorge himself on the prime minister’s immortal soul in return for a £250,000 donation to Conservative Party funds.

“That would be a private matter between me and my Lord and Master,” insisted Mr Cameron, his shifty eyes burning like red-hot coals as gas-masked cleaners struggled to scrub the reek of sulphur from his private apartments.

The Labour Party, meanwhile, is consulting top contract lawyers – claiming that any shady deal with the Tories would place the Devil in clear breach of an existing contract signed in John Smith’s blood by Tony Blair in 1994.