Friday 30 March 2012

Gorgeous George Galloway Brings Down Establishment

George Galloway - the respected moral authority, dictator enthusiast, oil collector and pussy fancier - is to meet the queen later today, ask her if she fancies a quick one round the back of the throne and accept her invitation to form a government, following his sensational overthrow of the entire discredited Tory-Labour-Lib Dem axis of evil.

A creep not sucking up to a tyrant, in a meeting which never happened
Mr Galloway’s anti-imperialist idol, President Assad of Syria, was the first to send his congratulations on the Great Respecter’s routing of the Zionist forces of reaction, saying: “What a breath of fresh air. The free people of Syria believe that your reforming zeal and your vision of Britain as a genuinely independent European country is one that is widely appreciated across the Middle East. I am very impressed by your knowledge, by your sharpness, by your flexible mind, by your selective amnesia. I am very, very impressed. Britain is lucky to have you as her prime minister.”

Speaking through a ouija board from the innermost circle of Hell, where he is currently being skewered by red-hot pokers for the next thousand centuries, the blood-soaked soul of Saddam Hussein also offered warm congratulations to the Respect Party’s humanitarian founder: “Sir, I salute your courage, your strength, your indefatigability and I want you to know that we are with you, until victory, until Jerusalem is a Jew-free zone yes no hello goodbye.”

Mr Galloway’s first respectful act as PM-for-life will be to thank his heroes for their kind words of wisdom, deny ever meeting them and call anyone who suggests otherwise a drink-soaked former Trotskyite popinjay. He will then stop all of the bad things in the world forever, starting with the iniquitous and unjust pasty tax.

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