Research Proves Baby-Faced Politicians Can Crap All Over Us

Politicians can evacuate their bowels on the public as often as they like and still be loved unconditionally, according to the latest research from Jerusalem, as long as they look a bit like a big baby.

“Aww, wook at his widdle chubby cheeks,” cooed Professor Ifat Maoz of the city’s Hebrew University, as he held up a picture of a baby with a Hitler moustache added in Photoshop. “Bless.”

Reacting swiftly to capitalise on uncritical public opinion, David Cameron is to shave off all his hair and appear at the dispatch box clad only in a nappy, citing hugely-popular former Tory leaders William Hague and Iain Duncan Smith as role models.

Meanwhile, in a snap poll conducted by the Nev Filter, the indications are that turnout could double at the next general election if voters are given a straight choice between Ian Hislop and Graham Norton.

Wah