Civil servants, who are solely responsible for all of the bad things in the world, are settling down for a long wait until it dawns on the British public that they are also paying for the jollies enjoyed by private-sector staff.
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| The water vole is an expert Prioritiser, it seems |
“Last year, I freely admit I was hauled off to a foetid swamp beside the A303 where some wanker called Jeremy bored me shitless with a crock of complete and utter balls - of which my only recollection is that the nonsense word ‘holistic’ was shoehorned relentlessly into every goddamned sentence,” confessed a normally mild-mannered man whose job is to simplify reports until even energy secretary Chris Huhne can understand them. “I think it was a disgraceful fucking waste of taxpayers’ money too, as it happens, but at least you didn’t have to sit through seven life-sapping hours of bollocks.”
“This proves, if further proof were needed, that the civil service should be shut down immediately and the machinery of government placed in the responsible, efficient hands of the private sector,” smiled Mark Spreadsheet, a dedicated, hard-working cost benefit analyst from Serco on a vital fact-finding mission to Longleat, where he is finding out that the yawn of the majestic lion will help him immeasurably when he decides which hospital ward should be abandoned to deadly microbes to cover the cost of discovering such key insights.
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