Tripoli Chef Doing Incredible Things With Pulverised Concrete, Say War Correspondents

War is hell

Beleaguered war correspondents holed up in their comfortable hotel in Tripoli have managed to get a message out, reassuring the watching world that the restaurant’s chef is whipping up a fantastic range of dust-based confections nightly for their delight.

“The menu still offers a satisfying range of entrées, main courses and desserts, although the soufflé is rather more filling than usual,” Martin Fivethirtysmith told viewers, while colleague Worly Guerly added that the dress code no longer required the checking-in of flak jackets and non-removal of helmets whilst dining was now acceptable, albeit frowned upon by the more experienced war reporters.

“By the way, if anyone knows what’s going on out there, do let us know,” she added cheerfully.