Libyan Rebels Say Just A Few More Bullets Will Make The Rain Fall

The sky surely can't take much more of this

The National Transition Council of Libyan rebel leaders claims its plans to restore vital water supplies to the people of Tripoli are close to fruition, with just a few thousand more rounds to be fired into the air before the sky is sufficiently intimidated to release its glorious revolutionary rain onto the city.

“Believe me, we have spent many months planning for Libya’s smooth transition from dictatorship to functioning democracy,” said Mahmoud Madman of the NTC. “Now all we have to do is train up some new doctors and nurses - which will be a lot quicker to accomplish once the few surviving patients do the decent thing, and stop wasting precious time and resources by selfishly clinging on to life - carry on shooting the water out of the clouds, then find the ‘off’ switch for the power station and blow it up, and everything will soon be back to normal. Do you like the suit, by the way? Gieves and Hawkes have done the democratic citizens of Libya a great service.”

“Meanwhile, we hope the West will continue to provide essential humanitarian aid to the people of Libya,” he added, “By blasting everything and everybody in Colonel Gaddafi’s home town of Sirte to dust.”