Voters Struggling To Care Two Hoots About Referendum

God, the tension

With polling stations opening tomorrow, both sides of the AV referendum have pulled out all the stops in trying to convince the electorate that changing the First Past The Post system to something not exactly a million miles from the First Past The Post system in some way represents the most momentous decision that the British public will ever have to take.

PM David Cameron and Labour head boy Ed Miliband struggled manfully in the House of Commons to make their tedious sparring seem like the ultimate, apocalyptic battle between good and evil.

Meanwhile, MPs of all parties kept unhelpfully diverting the attention of anyone bored enough to actually watch BBC Parliament with trivial tittle-tattle like tuition fees, cuts to police numbers and some tosh about council elections, as if they mattered in some way to voters.

On the eve of the election, the social networking sites are alive with vitriolic arguments as families and friends are brutally torn asunder by the vexed issue of whether the Alternate Vote will truly put the people in charge of parliament at last, or just lead confused voters to commit mass suicide in the polling booths as they struggle to fathom whether their vote somehow expands to infinity if a candidate they gave marks to gets divided by zero when they are eliminated.