Saudi Forces Finally Find A Use For All The Arms We Sold Them

Once the ammo has been fired, an M1A1 can stow up to 1600kg of duty-free goods

As they pour into neighbouring Bahrain, the armed forces of Saudi Arabia report that they are eagerly looking forward to finally getting some use out of the massive stockpiles of hi-tech weaponry they have been buying from Britain and America for decades.

“Lately we’ve been trying them out on our own minorities, which is nice,” smiled one Saudi brigadier-general, “But you just don’t get the same kick out of it compared to the thrill of massacring unarmed foreigners.”

The only country in the world to be named after its owners sent the troops in after receiving a request from Bahrain’s Sunni-dominated government, when the latter realised they hadn’t bought nearly enough British and American killing machinery to exterminate their protesting Shia population.

Meanwhile, the Saudis continued to call for the West to enforce a no-fly zone in Libya.

“Ideally, of course, we’d do it ourselves with all the lovely Tornadoes that British Aerospace kindly sold us, after they’d given us a big enough bribe,” said King Abdullah’s fourth son’s second wife’s nephew twice removed, who is therefore the minister of something. “They’ll be retiring once we’ve uncrated the new Typhoons you’ve just sold us, and it would be nice to see them win their spurs before they’re scrapped.”

“The thing is, though, that Gaddafi is barmy enough to shoot back,” he added. “So it’s really much better that you shoulder the risk. Britain and America have a fine tradition of military funerals, you see, and we don’t.”