Stephen Fry Decides He Really Is Gordon Deitrich From ‘V For Vendetta’

Everybody’s favourite uncle, Stephen Fry, woke up this morning and realised that he really was Gordon Deitrich, the TV personality he played in movie ‘V For Vendetta’, he told Eve Hammond, a bemused Radio Times hack, today.

“I expect they’ll kill me for saying this, but I’m sorry to say I’ve remained silent for too long,” confessed TV’s Mr Polymath. “There really is a climate of fear at the BBC. There! I’ve said it.”

“A lot of the adventure and excitement have gone out of television programming and a lot of it is just down to fear,” he explained. “I do know of so many cases where executives would say, ‘What we want is something new, something different, something extraordinary!’ And they’re brought something new, different and extraordinary and immediately the executive gets cold feet and decides simply to water down QI and move it to just before the watershed on BBC1.”

“Crikey, I said to myself, surely the viewing public must be utterly sick and tired of seeing some baggy-eyed twit lazily indulging his fellow luvvies as they predictably churn out their hackneyed old gags,” he went on. “And I suddenly thought, ‘Hang on, isn’t that me?’ Well, no longer. I will speak out - even if it means the end of dear old uncle Gordon.”

Not so funny now, is it, funny man?

Viewers can look forward to a special edition of QI on Friday, in which the brave but doomed Mr Fry brilliantly satirises sadistic director-general Mark Thompson by having a debagged lookalike run around the set while the Benny Hill music plays, chased by Alan Davies, Jo Brand, Danny Boyle and Sean Lock. Mr Fry will then be brutally dragged from his home in the middle of the night by The One Show’s Jason Manford and Alex Jones, and no more will ever be heard of him.