Home Office Facing Calls For Decriminalisation Of Attempting To Murder Bad People

Concerned Daily Mail readers expressing their idea of justice

There are mounting demands today for the removal of penalties for attempted murder, as long as the victim isn’t a very nice person, after bad man Ian Huntley tried to claim compensation for the prison service’s duty-of-care failure to prevent a fellow inmate from slashing his throat.

“Ian Huntley is a cunt. Nobody likes ‘im,” said Norman Brennan, the founder of the Nice Victims of Crime Trust, echoing the voice of the people. “So it’s perfectly acceptable, in my book, for one bad ‘un to be wanderin’ round a maximum security nick with a razor in ‘is hand till he bumps into some even naughtier fucker, then do ‘is level best to rip the bastard’s throat out. Where’s the ‘arm in that, eh?”

“Know what? If I ‘ad my way, I’d give guns to all the wrong ‘uns in Britain and just let the fuckers take each other out, like what they do in them Mexican border towns,” raged the retired police officer. “That’s my idea of law and order.”

“It would all work just fine if their bloody government didn’t keep poking their nose in from time to time,” he added. “Bags full of coppers’ heads litterin’ the place – now that ain’t so nice. But that don’t mean the idea ain’t sound.”