“This crate arrived from the UK several weeks ago, with fifty years’ storage fees paid in advance by the Labour Party,” said local DHL manager Musake Gwandoya. “It just sat there quietly until yesterday, when it told a passing porter it was called Gordon and asked if he would be so kind as to pass a note to the British embassy.”
It is believed that Mr Brown subsists on a spartan diet of such rats and snakes as fall through the ventilation holes of his 2m x 2m x 3m box.
An embassy spokesman confirmed that the crate contained Gordon Brown, adding that the ex-PM had asked for a consul to drop by to empty his chemical toilet, as it was getting a bit full.
“Mr Brown assures the people of Britain that he seeks no honours or titles, but asks if they wouldn’t mind lending him a small Travel Scrabble set,” he added. “He’s been quite happy so far playing clock patience, but he says a change is as good as a rest.”
Reporters have been politely but firmly refused access to the crate, although Mr Brown has issued a statement suggesting that if he ever got bored he may climb out to play a major part in transforming the fortunes of Africa.
The continent’s leaders politely thanked Mr Brown for his concern, and said they will be sure to post him a book or two every week.
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