Monday 9 November 2009

Sun Readers Baffled By Concept of 'Writing'

Puzzled Sun readers were left slack-jawed today, after the leading literary journal of Britain lashed out at PM Gordon Brown over a strange new concept called 'writing'.

The row broke out after the deranged prime minister callously sent a wicked letter of condolence to the grieving mother of dead soldier Janie James, which he had - cynically - written with something called a 'pen'.

"Wot the focks this ere say innit?" demanded Jaqkueee Jimjams in a video clip posted on the paper's website, waving a piece of paper covered in funny squiggly marks.

Sun readers have spent the morning trying to decipher the strage marks on the piece of paper - so far without success.

"WHY OH WHY couldn't this evil BASTARD use a PRINTER?" screamed the paper's editor Dominic Mohan. "It's an INSULT to every single DEAD British HERO! The Sun Says: STRING this vile MONSTER up from a LAMP POST!"

"This issue is ABOVE politics," he added. "But it does PROVE, beyond a shadow of A doubt, that Labour are the NASTIEST FUCKERS to ever stalk God's good EARTH. Vote CONSERVATIVE."

A spokesman for Number Ten later told reporters - and a man from the Sun with a colourful set of crayons - that the prime minister had later done the right thing and sent Ms Jam a proper message of condolence via text message: "soz 4 ur lad :`-("

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