The nation marked the hour the guns fell silent in 1918, after four years of unimaginable, needless slaughter, by solemnly loading up Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 at precisely eleven o'clock this morning and blasting seven colours of shit out of everything.
"I see no inconsistency at all in saying war is wrong and we should like pull our troops out now, whilst unquestioningly blowing away shedloads of photorealistic foreigners on my TV screen," said Xbox owner Josh Geake. "Modern Warfare 2 is only a game, remember - and a game is like so unrealistic, apart from its groundbreaking realism."
"I have no moral compass," he added. "But maybe I'll find it on the next mission, yeah, if I separate enough bad guys from their internal organs?"
Keen fans of exploding guts are already frantically searching for the rumoured hidden 'Combat Medic' mission - in which the player has to stumble around a wrecked marketplace, pumping morphine into as many screaming, disembowelled women and children as he can before a second bomb adds him to the collateral damage.
An official apologist for Elspa - the Exploitation of Licenced Sadism Publishers' Association - defended the game's graphic content and moral bankruptcy, saying: "This game is specifically intended for the kind of emotionally-dead kidult who lols at online footage of real people getting their heads flattened by buses. If you have a problem with that, you must be old. Fuck off and die on YouTube."
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