The online gaming fraternity is threatening to track down Bill Gates and blast his guts out, after thieving console owners who see themselves as exempt from paying for other people's hard work unexpectedly found themselves blocked out of Microsoft's Xbox Live service.
Gamers who thought they were being incredibly clever by installing illegal chips that bypass digital rights management, enabling pirated copies of software to run, found themselves howling with rage when they switched on their electronic substitutes for real life today - to be greeted by the shocking message: "Your console has been banned from Xbox, you thieving little bastard. Ha bloody ha."
"I was like, fuck, why me man?" sobbed copyright thief Liam Hacker. "At first I thought 'OK, is this just a joke?' - which is a perfectly reasonable assumption to make - so I like hit it with the TV remote and like there it was again. This is like so unfair. Why should I be singled out just because I enjoy ripping people off?"
"It's like telling someone their dog's died, just cos it like ate the face off some stupid kid what ortn't of got in its way right?" he wailed. "It's like games cost too much innit. I want every single game the day it's released, or all my mates will point at me and laugh innit - and there's just too many of them. Why can't I have everything I want for free? Cos money's like just a concept, yeah?"
"Well, fuck Microsoft," he added. "I'm going to nick a Playstation 3 tonight. I dunno how Microsoft done this - but I don't reckon Sony will cop on in a million years. Standard."
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