Brighton's population of wasters, thieves and hangers-on soared today, as the Labour Party descended on the seedy south coast resort for its annual conference.
PM Gordon Brown was one of the first to arrive, as a US government jet swooped low over the beach and threw him into the sea.
Floundering ashore, the prime minister quickly stripped off his bedraggled clothing and strolled proudly up and down the naturist beach, where several of his ministers already lay exposed for all to see.
Many Brighton residents are sick and tired of the undesirables attracted by the Labour Party, however.
"Nobody wants to see these fat cats flaunting themselves shamelessly in public," said one respectable local drug addict. "They haven't got a stitch to cover their embarrassment, but they just don't care."
"They have the gall to come down here and strut around like that. It's more than offensive - it's obscene," added his alcoholic friend, a pillar of the local shoplifting community. "Every year this disgusting display attracts undesirables of every cast and hue. Look over there by the bus shelter - see that little creep with the binoculars? That's David Cameron, trying to catch a glimpse of any fatuous election promises he can add to his depraved collection."
Conference-goers, however, shrugged and said the naked politicians were simply enjoying a harmless, if slightly eccentric pastime which nobody else paid much attention to.
"There was a time when Alistair Darling used to run around with a huge erection," said one saggy conference veteran. "But nobody took any notice of him even then, and this year he's just a useless dangling appendage that people point to and laugh. Please, let us have our fun. You'll find that most people will be happy to turn their backs on us, and pretty soon we'll pack their bags and go away."
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