A man with a metal detector has been offered Alistair Darling's job, after his diligent searching in a field in Staffordshire uncovered a hoard of Anglo-Saxon gold which may stave off Britain's impending bankruptcy for a week or two.
The unprecedented 7th-century hoard, thought to be worth millions of pounds - or maybe even as much as 500 euros - was quickly put in an insured, postage-paid envelope and posted to www.CashMyGold.co.uk, where its scrap value will be assessed and a cheque for a third of the amount sent to the government.
55-year-old Terry Herbert briefly stopped off at 11 Downing Street to collect his shiny Chancellor's badge before setting off with his equipment for the Treasury - where officials are confident that he will detect any pounds which may be hidden in drawers under a pile of paperclips, or have fallen down behind vending machines.
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