Saturday 15 August 2009

Grateful Burmese Generals Release US Fuckwit

The fuckwit population of the United States is to increase by one, as the idiot responsible for getting Burmese pro-democracy campaigner Aung San Suu Kyi another eighteen months' house arrest is released by the military junta to return to America with US Senator Jim Webb.

Mormon and Vietnam veteran John Yettaw decided to fuck up Ms Suu Kyi's life by swimming across a river with a pair of home-made wooden flippers so he could pass on an important message from God, who told him she would be assassinated.

An earlier attempt by Yettaw to fuck up her life failed when she turned him away - but, happily for the authorities, the fuckwit seems to have been absolutely hell-bent on putting her in breach of the terms of her house arrest.

"Mr Yettaw is clearly a man of conviction - Aung San Suu Kyi's conviction," laughed General Than Shwe, leader of the junta, to Senator Webb. "Now she will be unable to stand in next year's election. How could we detain him any longer, when he has done us this great favour? That would be cruel - even for us."

"Perhaps your Mr Yettaw should wear a hearing aid next time God gives him a message," he advised with a smile. "Clearly, although he thought he heard that Ms Suu Kyi would be receiving the unwelcome attentions of an assassin, the word God probably used was 'asshole'."

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