A Lancashire police officer broke down in tears and had to be taken home by his mummy, after horrid grown-ups laughed at him for not being able to ride a bicycle.
At the public unveiling of a fleet of bicycles bought for the force's community support officers by a local charity, little PC Tony Cobblers was asked by press photographers to pose for a picture on one of the bikes. His jaw wobbling, he stammered that the chief constable would be very cross as he hadn't got his cycling proficiency badge, then ran off and hid in a hedge sobbing his little heart out.
When Mrs Cobblers arrived, she told the nasty photographers that they ought to be ashamed of themselves for making her little man all upset, and called them a naughty word. She then gave the sobbing constable a big hug and led him away, promising him a special jelly treat.
Inspector Nick Baduns later told the media: "Evenin' all. 'Appen us officers is required to be appropriately trained an' assessed prior to using bikes for patrolling in order to comply wi' insurance and for the safety of themselves an' t'public. If only t'bike 'ad 'ad stabilisers, 'appen as would've been right as rain, like."
When asked if the force's publicity department would be allowed to keep their proficiency badges after putting an officer with no relevant experience in front of the press, Insp Baduns formally warned the photographers that they were lucky they were not under arrrest for attempting to photograph a police officer in the course of his duties.
PC Cobblers later reported for duty on his tricycle, all smiles, saying that raspberry jelly was the best jelly ever.
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