Saturday, 11 April 2009

You Read It Here First

Sensitive government e-mails are tumbling into the blogosphere, according to claims made in the Nev Filter blog, following a red-faced apology from 10 Downing Street after an email from Gordon Brown's former press officer - proposing a slur campaign against senior Conservatives - found its way into the hands of Paul Staines, the writer of the Guido Fawkes political blog.

"I can confirm that the Nev Filter has come into possession of an email circulated by Gordon Brown to Britain's senior police officers," said Nev today. "It suggests that Gordon is more than a little pissed off with the media banging on about the recession day in, day out and drops heavy hints to the effect that, what with the budget coming up in a few weeks and the papers screaming about reducing public expenditure, if they want to hang on to their funding they'd better pull their heads out of their arses and come up with a few major terrorist scares for the front pages, pronto."

"I've also heard that the Daily Fortnight has a copy of a crudely-designed Flash game in which Boris Johnson runs around trying to impregnate every woman he meets, leaving blonde babies littered around the neighbourhood," added the obscure online ranter. "And it seems to have been created by none other than Lord Mandelson."

The online satirist said he also had it on good authority that The Daily Mash blog had got hold of an email from Number Ten containing a digital image of David Cameron, which had been crudely modified in Paint Shop Pro.

"Unless, of course, he normally sports a top hat bearing the message 'Posh twat - kick me hard' as he cycles to the House of Commons," he added.

Traditional journalists are said to be deeply concerned at the emerging trend of sensitive documents being leaked to underground bloggers.

"These people operate on the fringes of the media world, without the financial backing of a large corporate to pay them handsome bonuses for obligingly receiving leaked information from departmental moles," complained one tabloid hack. "I don't like the look of this at all."

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