Protesters in Bristol today made an eloquent statement of their anti-graffiti agenda, by applying a liberal amount of red paint to a wall in the Stokes Croft area.
The Appropriate Media group claimed responsibility for vandalising the side of a barber's shop, calling for the "appropriate and legitimate use of public and private property."
The shop's owner, Nurettin Sayin, told reporters: "I was really glad when I saw that my premises have been appropriately vandalised by these civic-minded people. If I find out who they are, I'll sue their asses with all the tongue-in-cheek irony I can muster."
A spokesman for Appropriate Media, who upended a large can of Dulux over his head to avoid identification, told the Nev Filter: "Some mindless yahoo by the name Banks, or something common like that, had previously sprayed a godawful daub on this wall. I mean, a teddy bear throwing a Molotov cocktail at riot police, I ask you - what the blinkety-flip is that all about? Stokes Croft is a nice, respectable run-down slum for mentally-stunted, lower-class proles. How dare this idiot fill it with thought-provoking art?"
"I don't know much about art," he continued, adding feathers to his disguise, "But I do know it should be confined to galleries full of posh totty for the benefit of decent persons of wealth and taste. If this Banks yob really wants to speak to the poor, he should work for an advertising agency and use his meagre talents to sell them sixty-inch tellies, Xboxes, Sky HD and other idiot-pacifiers instead."
The spokesman was then punched senseless by our reporter, as it seemed the appropriate thing to do.