Inquiry Into MPs' Expenses To Be Turned Into Reality Show

British telly addicts reacted with unbounded glee to the news that the investigation of MPs' expenses claims is to be televised in June and July.

"The live broadcast of the proceedings of the Committee on Standards in Public Life will be the biggest must-see programming to hit your screens since we revived Dr Who," promised BBC Director-General Mark Thompson. "BBC Parliament's viewing figures will no doubt shoot up from double figures into tens of millions. Our product-licensing people are already in negotiations with leading toy manufacturers to produce a line of action figures, collectible trading cards and a scary, voice-changing Alistair Darling mask to cash in on what promises to be the hit show of the summer holidays. Viewers will be able to vote members off the committee, too, by ringing a premium-rate phone line."

The composition of the committee is a closely-guarded secret, but the BBC is rumoured to be locked in negotiations with Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, Russell Brand and George Galloway.