Tuesday 7 April 2009

Jacqui Smith's Alert Husband Uncovers Home Office Porn Link

The Home Office has removed a link from its website which connected surfers to a Japanese porn site, after Home Secretary Jacqui Smith's husband and aide, Richard Timney, was found sitting in front of a computer in her constituency office late in the evening with his trousers around his ankles.

When challenged by his wife's constituency chairman, Mr Timney said he was researching international terrorism for Ms Smith, and had clicked on a link which was supposed to take him from the Office for Security and Counter Terrorism page to the homepage of the Technical Advisory Board. He added that he was unaware that he had been misdirected into the depraved depths of Japanese pornography.

"The site to which I was directed certainly seemed to have some sort of security connection," explained a sweating Mr Timney. "There were hundreds of video clips showing pixellated images of male and female genitals. I was in the process of examining my own wedding tackle for moving squares when I was interrupted by the cleaner, who screamed and ran."

"I say, don't tell the wife, will you?" he begged as he tucked his shirt into his underpants. "I'm already sleeping on the sofa - I don't want to be exiled to the garden shed, £349.99 from the John Lewis catalogue."

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