Wednesday, 11 March 2009

PM's Speeches Sadly Lacking In Hilarious Buggery Innuendoes, Says Poll

In the latest in a never-ending stream of polls which didn't include you, Gordon Brown has been voted the most boring public speaker in the world, followed by David Beckham, Kate Winslet, Chris Moyles and Prince Charles.

Top of the list, according to the 1000 adults who always vote in these surveys, was the actor, writer, clever dick and credit card fraudster, St Stephen of Fry.

"A common mistake made by many public speakers is that they don't include nearly enough chortling references to anal sex," droned a tedious PR consultant to a slowly-emptying press conference.

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