Those unspeakable French have once again shown their complete contempt for all civilized - i.e. British - values, by unashamedly letting their government know that they are slightly displeased by what it is doing to alleviate the effects of the recession.
An estimated 2.5m smelly sans-culottes actually dared to walk through the streets of 200 towns and cities today, in a swathe of disgraceful protest marches organized by disloyal trade unions who seemed suspiciously interested in the welfare of the average Johnny Frog, rather than giving their unquestioning support to the government as they should.
“I am - ‘ow you say - up to ‘ere wiz zees fouteur Sarkozy and ze Carla Bruni wiz zee big boobies,” said an onion-wearing man in a striped shirt and beret, as he munched greedily on a horse.
“We are not going to seet back on le cul and suffair,” agreed his excitable, overdressed harlot as she waved her unpleasantly hairy armpits in a most disagreeable manner. “En France, we ‘ave a ‘abeet of taking to ze streets at ze drop of a ‘at and saying ‘Non’ to ze useless gouvernement. Excusez-moi, ees zat un mouton over zere? Pierre! Apportez les allumettes, donc!”
Meanwhile, the stolid British public carried on with their civilised way of life: sprawling apathetically in front of their televisions, shaking their heads in horror at the gibbering antics of their loathsome neighbours, scratching their ever-spreading arses and waiting patiently for the P45 to drop through the letterbox.
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