Announcing the shedding of 200 jobs over the next twelve months, a spokesman for Plymouth City Council told reporters that the council’s financial deficit was definitely caused by the worldwide recession, underfunding by central government, and giant mutant lobsters.
“It certainly has nothing to do with the £13m we blew in four games of Icelandic roulette last year,” he added, dodging a large chunk of masonry as it fell off the Civic Centre. “Neither is it connected in any way with the decision in the 90s to uncouple our poverty-stricken city from cash-rich Devon and let a small clique of thicky Janners run everything into the ground.”
When asked to comment on the latest instalment in Plymouth’s terminal economic decline, council leader Vivien Pengelly reminded journalists that she didn’t do bad news, and sent them a nice picture of herself rescuing a cat from a tree.
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