As Britain braces itself for the approaching fury of the full Siberian winter, TV viewers across the nation were amazed to learn of an orbiting body that apparently gets quite hot sometimes.
Stunning new images reveal, for the first time, that a faraway object known to scientists as ‘Australia’ experiences periodical fluctuations in temperature as it travels around its sun in an elliptical orbit.
“At the moment, ‘Australia’ is quite close to its star, meaning that surface temperatures are reaching an unimaginable 40 degrees or more,” said a NASA travel agent. At such intolerable temperatures, life itself becomes unsustainable and people without extensive life-supporting air-con systems simply melt.”
Shivering British viewers were unmoved by the discovery, however.
“I’ve just been out to buy a warmer duvet,” complained one sceptical member of the public. “So obviously global warming is just a myth put about by greedy politicians. Er… that is what this is about, isn’t it?”