Saturday, 31 January 2009

Switzerland Mortified By Unashamed Display of Public Nudity

A Swiss canton is hastily seeking to rewrite its laws, after a shameless Gordon Brown outraged public decency by strutting naked and proud around the mountain resort of Davos this weekend.

Mr Brown - an enthusiastic adherent of FKU, or ‘free money culture’ - astonished the world’s diplomats by brazenly climbing onto the stage at the annual meeting of the World Economic Forum, wearing not a single stitch to cover his embarrassment.

The naked PM then embarked upon a long ramble, with bare-faced rubbish about the painter Titian and global solutions with no historical analogies, and called for the rebuilding of outdated institutions like the International Monetary Fund which - along with the Tories, the press and the general public - he castigated for deepening the financial crisis by brazenly telling the naked truth about it.

“Gordon Brown great big dick to be coming here and waving wrinkly old bollocks in face of delegates,” said a shocked and angry Vladimir Putin. “All world know he stripped of all dignity at home and abroad, so why he has to come here and flaunt flabby thinking about global markets in front of everybody? Bloody global markets cause of whole bloody problem in first place.”

“I’ve never been presented with such a pathetic sight. I didn’t know where to look,” commented French Finance Minister Christine Lagarde. “If Monsieur Brown thinks he’s got anything at all to be proud of, I can assure you that he hasn’t.”

The unashamed prime minister was about to reach the climax of his shocking speech by telling delegates: “This is not like the 1930s, the world can come together,” when he was forcibly removed from the stage by men in white coats just as he was putting these disturbing words into action.

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