Tuesday 23 December 2008

Teachers Keen To Teach Any Old Rubbish

One in three UK schoolteachers supports the teaching of mumbo-jumbo in science lessons, according to a survey published today.
The Ipsos Mori survey also shows that 65% of primary and secondary school science teachers still say there is no place in their lessons for creationism - the flimsy, pick-and-mix argument that says that the evolution of the human eye is far too complicated for its adherents (including President Bush) to understand, and therefore cannot have come about by natural processes, despite the fact that the 26 other perfectly good types of eye have somehow managed it.
"Creationism, as an alternative to the evolution of species, has long been thoroughly discredited by rigorous analysis of data," explained Professor Chris Higgins, vice-chancellor of Durham University. "One might as well teach astrology, flat earthism, alchemy or a geocentric universe."
Many teachers seized on Professor Higgins' additional suggestions with enthusiasm, however, saying that they would happily teach anything that soothed the blind prejudices of their students and did not conflict with parental indoctrination.
However, the survey continues to attract criticism from prominent atheists in the scientific community.
"Any reasonable person with the slightest aptitude for rational thought will surely want to remove these thick-headed idiot teachers immediately - and not just from the classroom, but from the gene pool of the human race," commented popular TV God-baiter Richard Dawkins, through clenched teeth. "My message to these so-called educators is: read a book, for fuck's sake - preferably one of mine, available in all good bookshops."
"But not SPCK bookshops, obviously," he added, after pausing to hurl abuse at a visiting neighbour who wished him a Merry Christmas.

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