A consultation document for the Department of Work and Pensions has suggested that the government should stop lending emergency interest-free credit to the impoverished needy at the bottom of society. Instead, it says, the loans should be made by credit unions, offering the meagre savings of other desperately-poor people at an APR of 26.8% - a rate matched only by loan sharks and store cards.
"No decision has been made yet," said a government official. "Nor will it be, while the media are sniffing around. The social fund provides affordable credit to worthless pieces of shit whom nobody cares about. We are now exploring how we can make it more widely available to working people instead, who don't need it anyway as they can always run up an overdraft with their bank."
Asked whether Gordon Brown would personally go round with a cricket bat and break the legs of any pauper defaulting on an instalment, the spokesman said that, although the Prime Minister's legendary hatred and contempt for the poor knew no bounds, the responsibility would be best left to the friendly local credit unions - along with any resulting bad publicity.
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