Traumatised television executives seeking a traditional horrific pre-Christmas tragedy were consoling each other today, as it emerged that all 112 passengers and crew survived a plane crash at Denver International Airport.
As it was taking off, the Continental Airlines Boeing 737 veered off the runway, crashed down a ravine and burst into flames.
The news media rushed to the scene, to find passengers escaping from the inferno via the emergency exits in an orderly manner, under the calm supervision of the cabin crew. Heroic reporters risked their lives trying to close some of the exit hatches, whilst colleagues bravely rushed down the steep slopes waving cigarette lighters and tried to ignite dazed, fuel-drenched survivors.
Despite the best efforts of the press, however, many of the survivors remained shaken but unhurt. Patrick Hynes, chief of the city Fire Department's Airport Division, said that 38 of the 112 survivors had been taken to hospital.
"Injuries ranged from broken bones to significant fractures and bumps and bruises," he told shocked, weeping journalists.
Back in the newsrooms of the world, red-eyed editors were forced to give horror-seeking viewers blanket coverage of the Lockerbie crash, which happened 20 years ago but at least had a suitably mind-numbing body count.
"It's a disaster," said a BBC spokesman. "At Christmas time, viewers have come to depend on terrifying scenes of random death and destruction on a massive scale, so they can count themselves fortunate that their own suffering is limited to indigestion, the in-laws and waiting for January's credit card statement. But this year we have nothing but repeats to take their minds off it all."
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