Monday 1 September 2008

Stop Press: Unpopular PM Resigns

A deeply-unpopular prime minister who has been in office for just over a year and presided over deepening economic gloom, lost data scandals and failed health service reforms has resigned - but not in Britain, unfortunately.

Japan’s Yasuo Fukuda told the press: “I believe there will be an election for the party leader.”

Meanwhile, back in Britain, Gordon Brown is claiming that his government is “resilient” in dealing with the current economic woes facing the country - despite the pound plummeting to its lowest value in years against the dollar and the euro, in the wake of Alastair Darling’s gloomy weekend announcement that the country was facing its worst economic situation in sixty years.

Asked if he agreed with the chancellor’s dire forecasts, Mr Brown said: There are unique circumstances with the trebling of oil prices. That has not happened previously - and of course with the credit crunch.”

“And I think you’ll find that the actions we have taken and the actions we are taking are actions that are designed to help British people get through what is a difficult world economic downturn,” he added.

When asked why, in this worldwide crisis, every other currency seemed to be worth quite a bit more than sterling, Mr Brown folded his arms, tapped his foot and glared at the ceiling.

When he was also invited to explain why the nation’s finances were now – according to his own chancellor - reduced to the same parlous state as in the late 1940s, when Britain had bankrupted itself fighting a six-year world war for its very survival against the Nazis and their Axis allies, the PM flung a pen at the reporters and stamped out of the room claiming he wasn’t crying, he had something in his eye.

No comments: