Sunday, 24 August 2008

Obama's VP Choice - Experienced, White, Dead

US Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama has ended weeks of speculation by naming a grown-up as his vice-presidential running mate.

The announcement of the late Franklin D. Roosevelt as Obama’s right-hand man was sent as a text message, reading “FDR4VP08” - and was soon followed by a Facebook profile, a YouTube video clip and an exciting Massively-Multiplayer Online Role-Playing game for Playstation 3, Xbox 360 and Nintendo Wii.

The addition of the deceased political veteran adds Washington experience to Obama’s platform - an area in which the Illinois senator, who entered federal politics only five years ago, has been particularly vulnerable to Republican attacks.

“Franklin Delano Roosevelt may have died in 1945,” said Mr Obama,.”But with three presidential terms under his belt, during which he brought America out of a ten-year depression and brought about the defeat of Hitler, Mussolini and Tojo, there isn’t a politician alive with more experience.”

Speculation had been rife in Washington about which white man would be invited to share the ticket with Obama. The late John F Kennedy was seriously touted at one point. However, his Catholic upbringing could have risked upsetting the all-important bigot vote, and so it is FDR who now has the opportunity to make the transition from Boot Hill to Capitol Hill.

Senator John McCain, the Republican contender, has claimed that the appointment of the experienced but defunct Roosevelt is an admission by the Obama camp that their candidate is a political lightweight.

“The American people don’t want a vice-president running the greatest nation on earth,” he said. “Americans want a return to the days of comical dummies in the number 2 seat, to amuse and distract them from the real issues. That’s why my running-mate is the hugely-popular ventriloquist’s dummy, Achmed the Dead Terrorist.”

“I keel you,” added the Republican vice-presidential hopeful.

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