Three men have been charged with terror offences, following investigations into an alleged plot to assassinate Gordon Brown.
Ishaq Cameron, who has made numerous threats to bring down the Prime Minister, is charged with belonging, or professing to belong to, the Conservative Party, inviting support for the Conservative Party, and dissemination of terrifying publications such as interviews in the Times and the Daily Telegraph.
Two brothers from the Labour Party - Iqband One and Two - will also face trial for threatening to stab Mr Brown in the back, and for being in possession of a Guardian article which gives rise to a reasonable suspicion that possession is for a purpose connected with the commission, preparation or instigation of an act of shameless political opportunism.
“We must be ever-watchful in our fight against the powers of darkness that threaten to overwhelm the Prime Minister,” said Detective Chief Inspector Savage of the Vote-Counter Terrorism Unit. “Take a look at the man standing next to you on the bus tomorrow morning. He might seem like a decent sort, with the Independent sticking out of his briefcase - but don’t be fooled by appearances. Inside, he is probably seething with a burning hatred for Gordon Brown’s hapless mismanagement of the country’s affairs – a hatred that can only find an outlet in random, senseless acts of voting Conservative.”
“Or he might have the mild, unassuming outward appearance of a typical lifelong Labour voter,” he went on. “But, festering in the blackest recesses of his heart, he may well harbour a vindictive, suicidal determination to destroy all that Gordon Brown holds dear, i.e. his desperation to cling to the wheel as the ship sinks under him.”
Following the announcement, the Prime Minister moved swiftly to issue a message of reassurance to his loyal followers - both of whom are currently believed to be living in a remote cave, somewhere in the middle of nowhere.
“Be pure! Be vigilant! Behave!” he said.