Tuesday, 26 August 2008

Madge Secures Crucial South Wales Vote For Obama

The world’s most-respected political commentator, Madonna, has treated fans attending her Cardiff show to her incisive, expert analysis of the US presidential race, juxtaposing images of Republican candidate John McCain with pictures of Adolf Hitler and Robert Mugabe.

The images, which were aired during a video interlude in her Sticky and Sweet World Tour extravaganza at the Millennium Stadium, also featured scenes of global warming and destruction, and were followed by a sequence in which Barack Obama was seen hand-feeding a cute baby deer, rescuing a kitten stuck up a tree and being anointed by the Lord God Almighty.

Both candidates were quick to denounce the pop diva’s crude attempts at brainwashing.

“Senator McCain has never destroyed the world or reduced a single rainforest to matchwood,” said a campaign manager. “Neither has he invaded Poland, exterminated any Jews or burned his opponent’s villages. We do, of course, reserve the right to introduce these elements in our campaign later, should the need arise.”

Meanwhile, a spokesman for Senator Obama was of the opinion that few people would be swayed by crude, feelgood images of their candidate. “No,” he said, “What works is the subtle stuff – our guy dressed as Superman, chasing down black-clad, pony-tailed drug overlords in his Apache helicopter before returning to his good lady wife on the porch of the White House with a cheery ‘Hi, honey, I’m home!’ surrounded by choirs of angels flying around singing hallelujahs.”

Madonna’s fans, however, were slightly sceptical about the star’s propaganda efforts.

“In case she hasn’t noticed, South Wales isn’t actually part of the United States, is it?” pointed out Gwyneth Evans of Barry Island. “And even if it was, the average age in the stadium looked about 15.”

Madonna is widely expected to follow up her insightful video commentary with a coffee-table book, in which she will illustrate the finer points of the changing political landscape of America by posing provocatively in a never-ending succession of wrinkle-revealing costumes.

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