Tuesday 15 April 2008

Rowling In It

Author JK Rowling has been in court in New York, claiming that an attempt to publish an unauthorised Harry Potter encyclopedia has “decimated” her creativity and left her unable to work on her next book.

“I’m trying not to cry,” said the multi-millionaire, dabbing her eyes with a pepper-laden handkerchief and wearing a fetching string of onions around her neck. “This book constitutes wholesale theft of 17 years of my hard work.”

Rowling argues that Steve Vander Ark’s proposed reference guide - The Harry Potter Lexicon - would violate her copyright.

“Due to extensive prior use, I have the sole and exclusive world rights to the words ‘and the’,” said the writer, “And the title of this hell-spawned rip-off contains the word ‘the’. I’m sure that if you dare to open its blood-soaked pages, it won’t be long before you see an ‘and’ as well. What clearer proof could there be? I demand the death penalty. And don’t you dare say, ‘And the verdict of this court is…’ later, or I’ll see you reduced to crawling in the gutter, you evil, scheming villain, your honour.”

The case continues, despite rumours of the impending death of one of the major players.

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