Thursday 27 March 2008

Mugabe's Doctor Joke Mystifies African Tragicomedy Fans

Zimbabwe’s Robert Mugabe, facing the toughest election in his 28-year presidency – i.e. one with opponents daring to stand – has come up with the novel campaign tactic of giving out free cars to 450 doctors at government hospitals.

“Our health sector operated in a regional and international context that was free of the illegal sanctions which weigh us down today,” said the veteran international pariah. “But then I came along. Now look at the state of it.”

Zimbabwe’s doctors and nurses – at least, those who have not already fled the country in exasperation – have been on strike demanding more pay; although, with inflation running at 100,000%, any pay award would almost certainly be worthless before the ink was dry.

Mr Mugabe further promised that the doctors would receive houses within two years, and petrol for their new cars in fifteen. His electoral largesse has also extended to handing out farm machinery to his ex-guerilla army, whose mismanagement of the lands he seized from white Zimbabwean farmers has largely contributed to the collapse of the country’s economy and food supply; and donating fleets of buses, in which his heavily-armed thugs can travel with ease from polling station to polling station on March 29th, encouraging floating voters to support Mr Mugabe - or end up floating down the nearest river.

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