Friday, 18 May 2012

Nev Filter Signs Deal With Daily Mail

Nev, the unimpeachable paragon of satire, proudly announced today that he has signed a lucrative deal with Associated Newspapers to pen a regular column about house prices for his long-standing nemesis, the Daily Mail. The Nev Filter’s fans both expressed their surprise at the unexpected development by fainting dead away.

Perhaps Nev will buy a field - ideally, one with a tree in it
The idealistic author of such scathing articles as ‘Daily Mail Now Openly Admitting That It Makes Stuff Up’, ‘Decent, Hard-Working Families Exposed As Spiteful Daily Mail-Reading Desk Jockeys Contemplating Divorce’ and ‘Daily Mail Demands Dangerous Frogs Act For Snarling Sarkozy’ pointed out that the cynical posturing of the Daily Mail as the nation’s self-appointed arbiter of absolute morality was, in fact, an exact match for his own position.

The Nev Filter’s new allegiance comes hot on the heels of Private Eye’s staunch front-cover defence of Rebekah Brooks, but was overshadowed by Chris Morris’ surprise announcement that he is moving to the United States to become the lead anchor for Fox News Channel.

“It’s not about the money,” insisted Nev loftily, “Although I wouldn’t put it entirely beyond the theoretical bounds of possibility that I might find some small use for it.”

1 comment:

Von said...

The KLF already did 'burn a million quid as a vague statement of something, against something else', I'm afraid. You may have to be terribly boring and just spend it.