|Before the National Lottery, only earls were allowed hot tubs|
Other popular purchases of no extrinsic worth included electric gates to save them from the terrible wasted effort of getting out of the car, and a room of its own for the Xbox.
But, hearteningly, the most popular acquisition on the list is not a material thing at all. 30% proudly declared that they had hired a lowly cleaner from their own social background.
“What we really needed more than anythink in our lives, dontchano, was a peasant in the house so’s they can feel insanely jealous of all our tasty stuff, dontchano,” said £1m winner Sammi-Jo Potts, as she jabbed a finger at a wall-sized television and brayed about the decline of traditional British values of thrift and hard work – a ritual which, she firmly believes, occurs daily in the kitchen-cum diner of Buckingham Palace.