Kick Readers Out Of Your Book Clubs, Urges Mail

This is a book. Kick out anyone who says it isn't

The Daily Mail today solemnly advised the nation’s book clubs to eject the resident smartarse who actually reads proper books without being told - or risk feeling a bit dim for failing to come up with anything better than ‘Er I sort of identified with the main character.’

“cleverclogs-style bitches is spoiling the fun 4 sucessfull hard working busy career mums like u an me,” words expert Deborah Andrews warned the Mail’s skim-readers. “just cos they red 4 pleisure even b4 us papers told you how fashnible book clubs was an they done english lit a level, they recon they no moor than what u do (which is of course imposable cos mail readers r the best enformed an insighty out of the hole world lol) !!!”

“oh an for christsakes steer clear of midle march,” advised the paper’s resident literary giant. “That medeaval crap drones on and on 4eva an its full of long words nobody cd posably b expected 2 no!!! and b warned none of the characters do any steamy bonking ether not like what u bougt on dvd sos u wouldnt have 2 wade thru 700 pages of blah. u definitely dont want some smug bookworm pointing that out, just after uv all agreed how erotic the sex bits was!!! x”