I Am A Victim Of Persecution, Claims Goodwife Brooks

Submit, Witch, to ye Ordeall

Goody Brooks, the celebrated Puritan and wife, did This Mornyng proclaim that ye Kingdom is A Veritable Cefs-Pool of Vice & Depravity; in which ye Virtuous are persecuted for their pious Purity & Godly-nesse.

“We do hereby deplore this mofte Weeke & Unjuft Decision,” cry’d ye God-feering moralist of Chipping Norton. “After ye farther Unprecedented Pofturing of ye Persecution Servants of ye Crown, we shall refpond later to-day after our return from ye ducking at ye Tower of London.”

Ye Crown hath earlier charg’d Goodwife Brooks - together with her humble hufband Charles, and divers dissenters of no Consequence - with ye Grofs Perversion of Juftice, in regard to ye brutal Hacking of ye sacred Texts & ye eMailes.

It is ye Fervent wish of Goody Brooks, yt she be Tranfported forthwith to ye colonies of New England; in which Place, she doth faithfully sware to prove her Worth thro’ ye teaching of Wifdom & Truthe to ye slack-witted son of ye Governor, Rupert.