Osborne Releases ‘Happy Talk’

George Osborne of the Blah Party

Chancellor of the exchequer George Osborne is hoping to scale the charts this week, after releasing his own inimitable version of the 1949 Rodgers and Hammerstein hit, ‘Happy Talk’ under the pseudonym Captain Insensible.

“All of the UK’s woes are caused by silly asses wondering what might happen to the Eurozone when Greece defaults,” smiled the damned Member for Tatton brightly. “Well, I say chin up, Britain! I have a dream that it might never happen! Happy talk, keep talking happy talk! Talk about things you’d like to do ! You’ve got to have a dream ! If you don’t have a dream , how are you going to have a dream come true? Come on, boys and girls, sing along with the Captain!”

“You’re all going around with long faces, moaning about cuts to this and the price of that, and it’s making you jolly glum,” he chirped inanely. “Well, chaps, watch and learn – I just put on a big soppy grin every morning and hey presto, austerity doesn’t affect me at all!”

61 million people joined in with the Captain’s novelty singalong, chanting “Wot?”