Nobody has the faintest idea what percentage of the adult population of Britain are functionally innumerate, according to squiggly things that look a bit like wonky letters published today by YouGov - or even what a percentage is, not that it matters – but apparently it’s quite a lot.
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| Britain thinks it's some kind of code |
“It is simply inexcusable for anyone to say 'I can't do maths',” nagged Chris Humphries, chair of newly-launched charity Numeracy Matters. "It doesn't happen in other parts of the world, because other people have assets we simply don’t have in this country - goals, hopes, self-esteem, that sort of thing. It is a peculiarly British disease, which we aim to eradicate by loping along behind you, pushing out our lower lips with our tongues, grunting and slapping our wrists until you do a sum to make us go away.”
The charity hopes to be as successful in raising standards as the National Literacy Trust, with last year’s Skills For Life survey indicating that six out of ten people in England now have “strong” reading and writing skills.
“Christ on a bike. The most cursory glance at Facebook suggests that some dolt at the National Audit Office must have got a decimal point in the wrong place there,” moaned Mr Humphries. “Where the hell do we even begin?”
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