Public Warned Not To Approach Dangerous Union Fugitive

The evil al-Cluskey, spreading his sick message of hate

Police today urged the public to report any sightings of Unite gang boss Len McCluskey, who is on the run after threatening to rain dire doom and destruction down upon the Olympic Games, but warned them not to approach the desperate fugitive for their own safety.

Prime minister David Cameron declared McCluskey the most dangerous criminal on the loose in Britain today, and urged people to stay in their jobs until the anti-terrorist forces have done what needs to be done.

Meanwhile McCluskey’s maiden aunt, Ed Miliband, made a tearful TV appeal to the fugitive to give himself up to the authorities amid growing fears that he may be trying to return to familiar home territory, the 1970s.

“We love you, Len, as a valuable member of our little family,” sobbed the old lady whose struggle to keep him on the straight and narrow have come to nothing. “But think of the harm you’re doing to your loved ones with all this fighting talk, just when we thought people were beginning to forgive us after all these years of being shunned and spat at in the streets. Please, please - just give up and let us move on.”